One of the Perks of being a Grown-up

Being independent is a valuable trait, particularly when you are transitioning from child to adult. However, the deeper into adulthood I travel the more frequently I discover that inter-dependence is the key to being both, an accomplished adult and part of a community. Whether the help we give is small or significant is not what matters.

How often did I stumble, struggle, or fall down because I did not know who to ask or, for that matter,  what to ask?

I have made and continue to make plenty of mistakes that are mine to own. As a younger woman, the notion that I should be able to manage whatever life sent my way was the idea that I tripped over most frequently.  I was embarrassed if I needed help or did not know how to manage some new task that would crop up, only to learn that it was some routine aspect of adult life.

I remember the first time a grown-up, unrelated to me, saw me at a loss for how to move forward and helped me navigate a few unexpected obstacles. Some of it was small stuff like figuring out how to switch over the utilities from the previous occupant's name to my own in my first apartment. Sometimes her advice - like how to be a good neighbor to Mrs. James, the octogenarian who lived across the hall, while limiting the lengthy and confusing conversations between us to only one or two a week, turned out to be valuable life lessons.

Perhaps the most important lesson I learned from her was to be open to offers of help. I still had a long way to go before I learned to ask for help (at least in a timely manner), but as a result of her easy manner and offers of help I have had dozens and dozens of other-like experiences since then. People who have offered advice, support, and friendship as I traveled the terrain of life as an adult.

Someone once did or will do for me much of what I do and hope to do for others. It is this easy sense of give and take that lets me know I am part of a community in which we all help each other both, in dealing with life's challenges and in maintaining a healthy balance between doing for ourselves and doing for others.

Being grown does have its perks.